you can’t force another person to change

“it is important to remember that there is no way to guarantee a particular outcome. You can’t force another person to change, or to do what you want. Moreover, if you define success by what you can get others to do, you cede to them control of the outcome and set yourself up for aggravation. Your goal should be to do the best you can to fuel a productive interchange and to make sure as best you can that your own actions aren’t part of the problem and somehow contributing to the other’s reactions.

While it’s hard to give up this illusion of control, doing so is the firtst step toward finding an approach that helps.” – Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen